Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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