i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
