chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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