Don't you send me to vm
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
