so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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