For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
