I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
