I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize