I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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