i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
