You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You made out with two different species that night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
