He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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