He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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