Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
