This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize