I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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