she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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