I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
