Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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