Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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