I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
