Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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