I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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