She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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