Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
