we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
And then he peed in my hair
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
