You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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