Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
