sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fuck appropriateness.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
