And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize