So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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