Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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