Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
