take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
