Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
