last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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