apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
