that's an acceptable place to lick
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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