He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
