I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
