would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
