absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
