we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize