Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
