I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
