it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
