just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
