literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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