dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
