If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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