just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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