You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
