The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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