this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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