Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sarcasm needs its own font
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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