Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
