he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
