I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
