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I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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