No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
