It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
