Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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