so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
