i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
