If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
